


Rain On Me

by NekoAbi



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Each Chapter will be based off of a song from Emo the Musical, Each one will be linked at the start, M/M, Swear Words, The song will appear in the text too, Themes of Personal Isolation, Tickling, allusion to self harm, drug mention, mention of bullying, mention of injury, talk of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-01-24 15:45:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18574573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NekoAbi/pseuds/NekoAbi
Summary: Virgil starts a new school. He bumps into a beautiful boy and doesn't know how to feel about it, especially because his friends aren't much of a fan. When they get close due to a lesson they shared, it gets even more confusing.





	1. Rain On Me

**Author's Note:**

> This uses and is based on a song from Emo the Musical called [Rain On Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eS2c4pvQNrw).

Virgil was terrified. He was utterly and completely scared shitless. How had this managed to happen?

The young student sat in his room, his skinny jean-covered legs crossed and almost disappearing into the black sheets. His precious guitar was laying across his lap as he was in the middle of restringing it, but his thoughts had managed to distract him.

His mind was stuck on an event that had happened in the halls at school some weeks ago.

As one of the resident ‘weird, scary kids’, Virgil was used to people knocking into him in the halls. They tended to move in close, so they could knock his shoulders, seemingly in attempts to make him drop his things. Others preferred to dodge out of his way and stare at him as he passed, almost as if he were a dangerous animal that was kept there for them to gawk at whenever they pleased. All because he dressed differently. But whatever, it didn’t matter anymore.

This was a brand-new school, where he’d not yet been categorized so harshly. No one here knew him yet, at least not outside of first impressions. And the best part was that he wasn’t even the only one anymore. There were others like him, who looked like him, liked what he liked, and they’d even adopted him into their group on the first day, which was great. Virgil finally had a sense of belonging.

But then, not even two months into his first semester at this school, something just had to happen.

Virgil had been walking through the halls, his head down as usual. He was used to using the limited view he had and sounds around him in order to avoid running into anyone. This one time though, that hadn’t worked.

Suddenly, Virgil found himself bumping into another body, which made him look up sharply and get ready to apologise as best he could. But his voice caught in his throat.

The boy he’d run into was absolutely gorgeous. He seemed to almost radiate light, with his bright wide eyes and his soft-looking, fluffy hair. Even though he was about a head shorter than Virgil was, the boy had a presence that was larger than Virgil could even imagine having. It wasn’t commanding attention, more just grabbing it by accident with a polite thank you as it did so. When the boy smiled and asked if he was okay in the sunniest voice imaginable, Virgil could feel his stomach doing flips and churning. Virgil had nodded lightly in response, unable to speak. The happy student had then grinned wide and went to say something but was interrupted by a call from some other students down the hall. The boy, who Virgil had not managed to pick up the name of, quickly offered up a small apology and a wish for him to have a good day before shutting his locker door and bounding off down the corridor towards the two who’d called for him.

Virgil had been stuck there for a good few seconds, watching the back of this utterly entrancing boy walk away down the hall. From that day onwards, his face had burned brightly whenever he thought back to that moment. He’d also started to notice the boy throughout the school a lot more often, noticing the pastel colours from the other end of the hallway sometimes.

And then, Virgil found out they shared a class together. Not just any class, but their music class. Where they were going to have to perform and sing. And they were sat next to each other. How Virgil hadn’t noticed before, he would never know.

Throughout the rest of the semester, Virgil managed to deal with this set back fairly well. The boy, who he’d eventually realised was named Patton, was friendly and open with him, which was something new. He’d initiated many conversations with Virgil and been extremely patient with him, which was something that utterly baffled the young musician. Patton had also been so excited when he found out Virgil could play the guitar. It took only a few weeks after that for Patton to officially call him a friend, which both excited and hurt Virgil. He managed to find out through their little conversations that Patton had friends all over the school, was a part of the student council, sometimes worked as a library volunteer and helped out at the primary school across the road when he was asked to. Every little scrap of information just made Virgil fall deeper and deeper for the gorgeous student. He could almost see some return of that interest, by the way Patton seemed to giggle at everything, the way he almost reached for Virgil’s hand or arm constantly. Just all these little things started to add up and Virgil began to feel hope.

It was half way through the semester that he started to get a lose that hope.

His friend group wasn’t exactly the nicest group of people, but they were who Virgil stuck with. They were nice to each other – for the most part – but they did love to shit talk everyone else at school. One day, that attention focused on the student council because they’d had an assembly where it was mentioned that they were trying to get a code of dress introduced to disallow hateful or harmful slogans on clothing. His group seemed convinced it was an attack on them and so, since then, all the hate has been directed towards the student council.

Virgil was now stuck in a hard place. He wanted to be accepted by his friends, but he also wanted to stay close to Patton. But with a couple of his friend group also in the same music class, Virgil was at a rough point.

It almost felt as though he was stuck in a storm of his own making.

The only way he could deal with this was through his only personal outlet.

After finishing up the strings, Virgil positioned his guitar just how he liked it and began to play a gentle song.

_Show up on my weather report_  
_When I least expect it_  
_Scare all my neighbours away_  
_Through that emergency exit_

_Hit me like a storm_  
_Blow my walls away_  
_Peel off my paintwork_  
_Tear up my floorboards_  
_Come on and rain on me_

_Come on and rain on me_  
_Come on and rain on me_

_I like everything about you and I think that you like me so_  
_Come on and rain on me_

In the background, it had actually begun to rain outside, and quite heavily too. The strong winds whipped the trees around, causing loud rustling and cracking as they made contact with the side of his house. The large raindrops fell with a heavy, constant sound that just calmed him even more. Virgil had already had the window open, so the sounds were louder than they would have been.

Had the student been paying attention, he would have noticed a figure standing out in the rain, staring up at his window. He may have noticed the instantly recognisable colour of the umbrella and how it came closer as he began to sing again.

_Chase me to a foreign country_  
_I've never heard of before_  
_Cut off my friends and family_  
_Send me marching to war_

_Break through my bomb shelter_  
_And lift the roof sky high_  
_Shower me with your rocks and debris_  
_Come on and rain on me_

_Come on and rain on me_  
_Come on and rain on me_

_I'll be weak enough for you if you'll be strong enough for me_  
_Come on rain on me_

_I like everything about you_

_Come on, rain on me_

Virgil hadn’t realised he’d closed his eyes as he’d been singing to himself. He opened them slow, feeling the calm that had seeped into his extremities. Only music could do that for him and he was so thankful for it, he had a moment where he wasn’t stressed about everything in his life.

“That was so beautiful…” came a soft voice from his doorway.

The student physically jumped and turned sharply to look at his now-open door. His dark eyes were wide as he took in the boy standing there.

“What? How? When?” Virgil croaked out, feeling his throat beginning to close as his heart rate pounded in his ears.

“I heard you outside. Your parents let me in after I said we were friends… Sorry, I-I’ll leave…”

“No!” Virgil dropped the guitar to the side and almost fell off of his bed as he scrambled to get the other to stay, “No, I…” He huffed, trying to figure out his words in a hurry, “Patton, I just… I didn’t expect someone to be there.”

Patton stopped mid-turn and looked up at the other with a slightly guilty look, “I still shouldn’t have come in… I’m sorry.” He began to back away towards the stairs,

Virgil dove and grabbed his arm desperately, “No, no, no! It’s fine!” He frantically searched the other’s face. There was the worry that this would be what ruined everything for him, this could be the end for both of them.

“Are… are you sure?” Patton murmured, his eyes fixed on where Virgil’s hand currently was holding him.

“Yeah, I’m really sure.”

“Really really?”

“Patton.”

That got the shorter of them to giggle gently. “Okay, I believe you…”

Virgil let out his own breathy laugh, relief swallowing him whole. After an awkward few seconds, Virgil realised he was still holding Patton’s arm. He quickly retracted his arm, “Um, do you… wanna come in and, hang out, or something?” He awkwardly coughed.

Patton smiled and clasped his own hands together in front of himself, “Mmhmm.”

The pair avoided bringing up anything about both of their pink-tinged cheeks, both seemingly trying to mentally dodge the idea that it was anything to do with attraction from the other. They settled down in Virgil’s room, both slowly relaxing more as time passed. Patton was allowed to try Virgil’s guitar, as he was extremely interested.

The emo was more than happy to show Patton a few things about playing the guitar. He showed him how to play a few chords, positioning the other student’s fingers which left his own tingling. Patton asked him about strumming and how that worked, and Virgil knew the best way to instruct but wasn’t sure if it was appropriate.

“Uh, I mean, the best way to… show you is to, have me help you?” Virgil said with a soft blush once more.

Patton seemed to understand immediately, as his own cheeks reddened. He continued to smile however, “Would you mind?”

It took a bit of work, but the two of them shifted around so Patton was sat in front of Virgil, who’s legs were resting either side of him. Virgil rested his arms atop Patton’s in order to grasp a hold of his hands, which he did with a slight note of hesitation. It wasn’t until just now that Virgil realised just how much shorter Patton was than him, or just how small he was in general. The emo was able to rest his head comfortably to the side of Patton’s and still not have to peek over his shoulder, his arms were more than able to reach where they needed to be right now. In fact, he could have likely wrapped one of his arms almost three quarters of the way around the other boy.

Virgil tried to not get too distracted by the fact he had his crush so close to him. In a low, gentle voice, he explained what he was getting Patton to do as he strummed with the boy’s hand under his own. After a little bit, the two sat quietly, focusing on the soft sounds of the rhythmic, strumming guitar and rain outside.

“Hey, Virgil?” Patton spoke so softly that Virgil almost missed it.

“Yeah?”

The shorter shook his head, “Uh, nothing.”

Virgil tilted his head around to try and catch a glimpse of Patton’s face, “Tell me.”

Patton pushed himself out of Virgil’s hold and stood, holding the guitar out towards the emo with a heavy blush, “Play that song again?”

Something gnawed at the back of Virgil’s mind that what Patton just asked of him likely wasn’t what was originally going to come out of him, but he left the topic alone. He thought that if it was something Patton really wanted to say, he would say it when he was ready. Virgil took the guitar and set himself up comfortably, giving Patton enough room to sit on the bed along with him. Time passed and the two lost themselves to the calming nature of the gentle music backed up by the beautiful sound of the rain outside. Perhaps they wouldn’t reach a conclusion today, but Virgil really didn’t feel like they needed to, this was enough for now.


	2. You're Perfect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is tickling in this chapter.
> 
> Here's the song for this chapter: [You're Perfect](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vobWXc4fRWM).

Virgil was happy. He was overjoyed and excitable for the first time in a long time.

He was laying on a bed, his arms resting behind his head as he smiled up at the unfamiliar ceiling. Across the room, he could hear the rhythmic sound of typing and a soft humming. It was all just so calm. Though, had a stranger happened to walk in through the door to the room, they would have likely been a little off-put by the strange combination of teenagers in the room.

Virgil was the dark, scary emo kid – wearing all black, many layers, dark circles below his eyes that were only accentuated by the dark eyeshadow and eyeliner under his eyes, his heavy boots hanging off the end of the bed – who was currently laying in a room covered in a bright coat of blue paint, with the walls almost filled to the brim with smiling faces and positive imagery. To add to that, the other teen that was currently sat at the desk was wearing a pastel pink shirt under adorable, lightly faded overalls, looking much more at home in their current surroundings.

As he was deep in this thought that amused him greatly, Virgil was able to hear the swivel of the desk chair and a loud tut followed by a sigh. Within seconds, Patton’s face was in his vision above him.

“Virgil. Don’t you have homework?” Patton’s hands were on his hips, his face as stern as possible which was a feat considering the teen was utterly adorable all other times.

The emo shrugged, “Probably.”

“Shouldn’t you be doing it?”

“Probably.” Virgil repeated, shutting his eyes with a smirk.

Patton made a noise that could only be described as ‘pouty’ and stamped his foot like a small child, which got Virgil to crack open an eye to look at his friend. “Virgil!” The boy whined, “You need to do it, or else you’ll get in trouble again!”

The teen laying on the bed sighed and pushed himself up, so he was sitting, “But its really not important, Pat. Who cares how much trouble I get in for not doing homework?”

“I do!” The pastel-covered boy looked at Virgil with a pleading look, “Do it for me?”

In the year they’d gotten close, Patton had clearly learnt how to get Virgil to do what he wanted as that puppy-dog look was one of the only things that could break the emo’s resolve.

Virgil tilted his head back with a long, drawn out groan, “Fine. But, can we start with something that’s not pure torture?”

“What would that be?” Patton asked with a giggle. As he’d spoken, the other boy had reached out and gently began to play with Virgil’s hair, almost in a false attempt at fixing it while his head was leaning back. They both seemed to get distracted for a second as they stared at each other in silence. Patton’s other hand came up to rest against Virgil’s cheek, which the emo then found himself resting into. But the spell was broken when Patton flushed and realised what he was doing, pulling his hands back. He mumbled an apology and shuffled back over to the desk chair, seating himself down with his hands clasped tightly in his lap.

Virgil took a few more seconds to really come back to reality. He flushed himself and cleared his throat, spinning to throw his legs over the side of the bed and stand up. He headed over to the space next to the door and picked up his guitar case, “I um, was thinking we should, or could – only if you wanted of course – do some of, the music stuff, we need to do?”

“Yeah, sounds good!” Patton nodded stiffly before he quickly spun the desk chair back around to check the assignment brief.

In the meantime, Virgil awkwardly made his way towards the bed and uncovered his beloved guitar, checking the tuning of each of the strings to ensure they were all perfect. He only looked up when his friend cleared his throat and spun back to face him with his laptop in hand.

“So, it says that we need to come up with a song together that represents something about us…” Virgil watched as Patton chewed on his bottom lip in thought, staring with furrowed eyebrows at the screen in front of him. It was utterly endearing, and Virgil couldn’t help a small smile. “What do you think?”

“Huh?”

Patton pouted a little, “I asked if you had any ideas…” He placed the laptop back on the desk behind him before staring Virgil down exaggeratedly and adorably, even though he was trying to be severe, “Were you not listening again, mister?” Virgil snorted and looked away, not saying a thing but giving his answer. Patton huffed, “Looks like I need to do something about that!”

Within the next few seconds, Patton had taken his guitar from his hands. “Hey! Give that-” His demand was cut off by a fit of giggles as his friend practically tackled him to the bed and began to tickle his sides. Virgil twisted and turned, trying to cut off access but Patton was adapting to every movement easily, both of them laughing loudly. It only took a couple of minutes before the emo started to beg Patton to stop in-between laughter, which had his friend stilling his movements.

Patton continued to grin and giggle, “Have you learnt your lesson yet?” Virgil, still breathless and pulsing with residual laughter, nodded slightly. That seemed to placate his pastel friend, as Patton didn’t continue his assault on his sides.

As he finally caught his breath, Virgil realised where they were. Patton was sat atop his legs, clearly having used his weight to keep Virgil locked into his ticklish hell, and his arms were resting either side of him. There was something about looking up into his friend’s… his crush’s eyes from below like this that was just so different. This was intimate and they both seemed to know it but weren’t willing to break from it.

At least until Patton’s bedroom door opened and his younger sister entered, yelling at him to stop being so loud or else she’d tell their parents about ‘his boyfriend’ and what they were doing. Patton’s face practically lit up, he turned such a bright shade of red. He responded with a cry for her to get out of his room, almost leaping off of the bed as if he’d just been burnt. The sister ran away with a shriek as Patton ran towards her. A loud voice came from downstairs, telling the siblings to knock it off. Both began to blame the other.

Virgil used this time to sit himself back up. He watched as Patton exited into the hallway in order to explain his side of the story to his dad, who’d come up the stairs since this was likely taking some time. The emo found where Patton had propped up his guitar and grabbed it, settling in his lap like some sort of barrier between himself and the shouting from outside the room. Quietly, he strummed a soft rhythm that he swore he’d heard somewhere.

After a few minutes, Patton returned with his cheeks still pink. He shut the door with a sigh, almost deflating once it was shut. He turned back to Virgil with a sheepish smile, “Sorry about her… She’s a little… umm…” Patton searched for the word he was looking for.

“Brat?” Virgil offered. He couldn’t hide his smirk when Patton told him off for being so rude with his own little smile.

“Anyway, we were going to work on that project?”

“Yeah, and I don’t really have any ideas…”

The two sat in silence for a while. Patton slowly turning himself in the desk chair with a pen between his teeth and his fingers, chewing slightly as he got lost in thought. Virgil rested on his guitar, trying to think of something they could write a song about. Eventually, he found himself needing some sort of noise, so he began to strum the same tune as earlier. Patton stopped spinning and listened, watching the emo play.

It didn’t take long until Patton had an odd thought pop into his head and he giggled, causing Virgil to stop. “What’s so funny?”

“I just had a silly idea for a song lyric.”

“Oh, what is it?” Virgil asked, shifting his weight so he was turned a little more towards his friend.

“Well, what if there was a song that was talking about something attractive about someone, like their lips, as a random example.” Patton’s darkening cheeks were giving away that it wasn’t something random, but Virgil refused to interrupt, “But then it goes on to say that they’re good for something that’s not expected, like eating something or things like that?”

Virgil snorted at the thought, “That’s… actually kinda funny. So, like ‘your lips are so perfect, they’re great for eating a sandwich’ kinda thing?”

“Yes! Exactly! What if we did something like that?” Patton was excitedly bouncing up and down, “That song you were playing was really catchy too, we could use that?”

Virgil flushed a little at the compliment, “I mean, we could, yeah. If you want to.”

It took them the rest of their time together, but Patton and Virgil figured out what they wanted the lyrics to be. There were only around 10 more minutes until Virgil would have to leave when they started to rehearse it, as they were going to need to perform this in front of their class. Virgil played, while Patton read their written lyrics off of a piece of paper.

_“You've got wonderful legs_  
_They're just what legs should be”_

Virgil cut in to sing the next line,

_“Just the other day I saw you walk down the street on them”_

Both of them harmonised for their final two lines of their verse,

_“You know it's true_  
_You know it's true”_

Their pattern swapped for their second verse, with Virgil beginning and Patton seemingly cutting the boy off to interject his own response, before they both harmonised again to finish it off.

_“You've got lovely lips_  
 _They're just what lips should be_  
 _They're absolutely perfect for eating a sandwich with_  
 _You know it's true_  
_You know it's true”_

Patton went on to sing their bridge solo, leaving Virgil to play his accompaniment, as well as be completely in awe of his friend’s gorgeous singing. If Patton’s speaking voice was enchanting, then his singing must be made of pure magic that only an enchantress or siren could harness – it was just so beautiful, it could get Virgil to do anything.

_“When we talk it's completely understandable_   
_When we touch it's completely consensual_   
_Nothing about our relationship is illegal_   
_You know it's true_   
_You know it's true_

_You've got a marvellous brain_  
_It thinks just like I do”_

Virgil almost forgot he was to be the response again, but managed to snap himself out of his trance just in time to finish the song alongside his friend.

_“And when the words come out you know I agree with every one_   
_You know it's true_   
_You know it's true_

_You know it's true_   
_You know it's true.”_

The emo finished with a soft flourish of the strings on the guitar. He carefully placed his guitar on the bed away from him before Patton tackle-hugged him, clearly riding the excitement he felt of having their own song together. Thankfully, he was ready, so Virgil didn’t go falling back onto the bed again, but Patton did still manage to find his way into his lap somehow.

Patton quickly realised what position he’d gotten himself into once again and went to climb off, but Virgil stopped him by softly reaching up and brushing Patton’s hair out of his eyes. Patton seemed to melt into his touch, his eyes softly closing for a second. The pastel boy’s hands had been resting on Virgil’s shoulders from when he was trying to move away, but they moved so that his forearms were resting there instead, and his hands were gently hanging behind the emo’s head. Virgil hadn’t realised when Patton had moved just that little bit closer, but he didn’t have a single complaint, especially as it made it easier for him to rest an arm around the smaller teen’s waist.

A thought pushed itself to the forefront of Virgil’s mind and he opened his mouth to whisper, as that was all his vocal chords would allow him to do right now, “Hey… Patton?”

A gentle, slightly sleepy sounding ‘hmm?’ was the response he got, along with an extremely soft expression. Patton looked just so calm and vulnerable there in his lap. It was almost if this was actually going to go well, despite the crying insecurities in Virgil’s head.

“Do you-?” He started.

“Patton, honey. Your friend- Oh!”

The bedroom door had once again been pushed open, but this time by Patton’s mother. Patton and Virgil had both scrambled frantically to separate, both of them blushing heavily. Patton began to stutter out excuses and stories of what was happening in order to convince his mom that it really wasn’t a big deal and wasn’t anything romantic or sexual or anything like that. Every excuse was like a stab to Virgil’s gut. He should have listened that voice in his head, nothing ever went well. Virgil started to agree with his friend, but the older woman was clearly having none of it. She laughed and ruffled her son’s hair before escorting Virgil down the stairs after he’d gotten his things together. She said goodnight to him and winked before shutting the door behind him.

Virgil had been happy, but now he had an awful sinking feeling in his stomach. It was never going to happen, it was all just a far-off dream.


	3. The Way You Held My Hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has an allusion to self-harm, as well as mention of injury, bullying and talk of depression.
> 
> The song for this chapter is [The Way You Held My Hand](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGYK1gVoowo).

Virgil felt empty. He could feel his usual levels of depression rising to engulf him as he lay under his covers in his darkened room. At one point, his mother opened the door and tried to get him to come out, but Virgil stayed silent and simply covered his whole body with the covers, ignoring the soft voice of his mom. The door shut quietly behind her as she retreated. She’d be back in an hour to try again.

Under the sheets, Virgil could feel his eyes tearing up yet again. It had been almost an entire week and yet he was still dealing with this. Why couldn’t he just let it go already? It wasn’t like anything was going to change now, he’d already fucked it up enough.

The emo reared up out of bed with a frustrated shout, throwing the sheets down off of his body before burying his face in his hands. The door to his room clicked open again, which caused Virgil to look up at the sad smile on his mother’s face. She gently shut the door before walking over to sit on his bed, resting a hand comfortingly on his leg that was still trapped under the sheets. This simple action seemed to break Virgil, as the tears began to fall silently down his cheeks.

“Would you like to talk about it, honey?” His mother asked in a gentle voice.

Virgil considered not talking for a second but couldn’t deny that he wanted to just get it all out. He then told his mother everything.

After their little song project had been performed for the class, the two friends from his group who shared that class teased Virgil with the fact that he was clearly falling for the other teen. He vehemently denied the accusations, but the two didn’t relent. They continued to harp on and on about it, especially as they neared their hangout spot for their lunch break.

This worried Virgil to the extreme and he blew up at them, telling the two to shut the hell up. This didn’t go over well for the group’s ‘leader’, who quickly cornered him with the rest of the group to ask what just happened. Before he could even attempt to stutter out a response, the two from his class explained their version of events, which included the crush on Patton.

To say the older teenager was not pleased with this turn of events would be like saying a hurricane was a light breeze.

Virgil was close to leaving the school that day with two black eyes, a bloody nose, several broken bones and possibly internal bleeding.

But he managed to convince the teen to not order a beating, by consistently saying that the two who’d said he had a crush were just reading into things that we’re even there. “They’re basically illiterate!” Virgil had said in a moment of pure desperation.

He had to prove it though. He had to really show that he didn’t have any emotional attachment to the other teen.

“How can I prove it?” Virgil asked, doing his best to keep his nerves out of his voice and his expression.

“Easy.”

Only a minute later, Virgil was walking across the school courtyard, forging a direct path towards his crush. He passed by a lot of other students, who seemed to turn and watch with some sort of interest. Perhaps it was because they rarely saw any of his group outside of their space at these times, but it did mean that Virgil was about to have a bigger audience than he originally wanted.

His head was swimming with pre-made apologies, with excuses and reasons of why he was actually going to go through with this, with cries for him to stop and turn around and tell his group that he wouldn’t do this. But Virgil finally belonged with a group, and he didn’t want to lose that. He also didn’t want to end up in the hospital, so this was the better option, at least as far as he could currently tell. It wasn’t like this whole thing with Patton was going anywhere anyway. The boy had already proven that he wasn’t interested by giving every explanation under the sun to his family as to what had occurred only a couple of weeks prior. So, he really wasn’t losing much… right?

Virgil didn’t have a chance to think on that, as he stepped into Patton’s range. The sunny smile was now a source of guilt, as was the extremely cheery greeting that he got. Patton started to introduce Virgil to the friends he was sat with, but he didn’t even finish saying the first friend’s name before the emo went through with the plan.

He took two of the drinks that were closest to him and emptied them both onto the teen, who jumped up and almost squealed in shock. Everyone else around went silent, all the bystanders around were silent. The only sound was the laughter of Virgil’s friend group, who were watching from afar.

Virgil felt his heart break in two as Patton looked up at him with the saddest expression on his usually sunny-looking face, tears in his eyes. He seemed to want to say something but broke down crying instead. The sound of the hurt sobs stabbed Virgil in the gut and hurt much more than any of the excuses ever had. He turned with a blank expression and began to walk away but was stopped when one of the nearby students grabbed his shoulder.

“What the hell, man? What was that for?!” The student shouted into his ear, which started a small riot behind Virgil as the rest of the group also chimed in with similar statement.

The emo said nothing. He couldn’t say anything. His mind was practically blank. He ripped his shoulder out of the student’s grip and just walked back to his group, face utterly expressionless. The sound of the crying student still rang in his ears, even as his friends congratulated him.

The leader of the group wrapped an arm around Virgil’s shoulders once he got closer, leading him back to their spot, “We’re cool now.”

For the rest of the week, Virgil avoided eye contact with all students bar his little friend group, though that didn’t stop people from staring at him. He could feel the piercing stares, hear the whispers and the disgust in their voices. He was back to being the ‘scary emo kid’, back to being what he was before and it made him sick. The worst part was that they had yet another music lesson that week and he had to sit next to Patton for a full hour.

It was torture. A part of him wanted to run out of the room and throw up on the ground outside, another part wanted him to throw himself to the ground and apologise while he begged for forgiveness. But neither of those things happened. Instead, the two sat in silence. Out of the corner of his eye, Virgil could see Patton’s gaze flick to him a couple of times and tears welling up each time he did so. His heart ached, but it didn’t matter.

Today, he was supposed to go to school again. It was the last day before the weekend. He refused to step outside his bedroom. He wanted to curl up in his bed and disappear. Virgil added this to the end of his story, the tears still running down their tracks on his cheeks.

His mother sighed and pulled him in for a gentle hug, “Virgil. You know you shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry you felt pressured, but that was an awful thing for you to do.”

Virgil nodded in his mother’s arms, wrapping his own around her in order to keep her there, “I know. I’m the worst.”

“You’re not the worst, sweetheart.” His mother’s hands came to hold his face once she’d pulled away. She went to say something but was distracted by a mark she saw as Virgil dropped his arms. Quickly, he covered it with the sheets, his expression turning guilty. “Honey…”

Minutes passed before she left his bedroom. She’d agreed to let him stay off for the day, so long as he promised he would apologise to Patton on Monday. She also grounded him for the weekend for his actions, his phone being taken away at the same time.

Virgil knew he deserved it. He’d fucked up badly and he hated himself for it.

Ever since he’d agreed to pour those drinks on Patton, he’d been almost in a trance-like state. It was like his body had acted without him. His consciousness was separate from his body, screaming itself sore trying to get him to stop or apologise. The night before, he’d come back to himself and couldn’t handle the pain in his heart, so he’d done something about it. It wasn’t smart, it wasn’t clever, it wasn’t a solution, but it made him feel a little better in the moment.

Now, he was sat in his dark bedroom, sheets pooling around his waist, still completely dressed from the day before, alone with his thoughts. They were almost too loud, and Virgil almost screamed outwardly that he needed a moment of silence to just think. His eyes fell on his guitar.

It was in his lap before he even knew what he was doing. The window behind his curtain was still opened; he’d not shut it since that first encounter with Patton in his home. He strummed a random tune, anything that came out of him. Eventually, he found himself singing a song he’d heard before.

_“I wanna think about the things_   
_I never should have done_   
_I wanna think about how they_   
_Will never understand_   
_I wanna think about how it_   
_Was never gonna work_   
_But all I can think about_   
_Is the way you held my hand”_

Virgil felt the tears reforming and his throat closing up. Especially as his brain supplemented Patton’s voice in his head for the next verse, almost as if he were right there in the room with him, singing alongside him.

_“I wanna think about how_   
_I tried to change you_   
_I wanna think about the mess_   
_You made it all go wrong_   
_I wanna think about the things_   
_You never should have done_   
_But all I can think about_   
_Is the way you held my hand”_

Virgil scoffed. That wasn’t Patton. There was no way Patton would ever think such a thing right now. The teen had done absolutely nothing to deserve what happened to him, it was just Virgil being an easy pushover that needed a place to belong.

_“One day I'll know_   
_It'll all be clear_   
_That dating you_   
_Was a bad idea”_

Was it really a bad idea though? Would it really have been such a bad thing for Virgil to lose his friends in order to be with Patton? Now that his mind was a little clearer, Virgil could really see for the first time that Patton was the better choice for him. He was kinder, sweeter, much more understanding, so much more fun… and Virgil had absolutely ruined his chance.

_“But I've got this thing_   
_Stuck on my brain_   
_The thought goes 'round_   
_Again and again and again”_

Something felt off. Almost like someone was watching him, or like someone was actually there in the room with him. Virgil looked around and saw no one. It wasn’t like last time, there would never be a next time either. However, once he started to sing the next part, a voice did join in with him.

_“The way_  
_The way_  
 _You held”_

Virgil looked around in surprise, but he never stopped playing. He couldn’t tell where the voice was coming from.

_"The way_   
_The way_   
_You held”_

It sounded like it was coming from outside his window. Somehow – even he couldn’t quite understand – he managed to move past the curtains while still playing. He looked out onto the street and saw a familiar face staring up at his window. Virgil could feel his body shaking, feel more tears rolling silently down his cheeks, feel his stomach curling up into a ball of pain as he stared down into those still amazingly gorgeous, sweet-looking eyes.

_"The way_   
_The way_   
_You held_   
_My hand”_

The two continued to sing the final words, neither moving for a while. They started to sing almost in a call and response; Virgil first, then Patton after.

_“The way_   
_You held”_

_“The way_   
_You held”_

_“The way_   
_You held_   
_My hand”_

 Virgil slowly ended the song, still holding his guitar but not knowing what to do anymore. Patton seemed to be feeling the same, if the way his eyes seemed to dart around said anything. Before he could really think of the consequences, Virgil called down to the boy.

“Can we talk? Please?”


	4. Stupid Band

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some references to violence and drug use.
> 
> Song for this chapter is [Stupid Band](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnxzogcEC2w).

Virgil was determined today. He was going to finally get himself out of this rut. For the first time he could remember, he walked through the school halls with his head held high and a fire in his eyes.

The weekend had passed by relatively slowly but had been just the right amount of time for him to start making amends.

After catching Patton outside his window, he’d invited him in and apologised in every possible way he could. He had been kneeling on the floor in front of the teen, who was sat silently watching the emo silently cry tears in between his rambling apologies. Virgil wasn’t asking for forgiveness just yet, he just wanted Patton to understand his fucked-up reasonings and that he was truly, completely, utterly regretful for what he did.

Virgil had sat on the floor for almost fifteen minutes straight, constantly blurting out word after word with his head hung before the gentlest of touches stopped him instantly. The soft hand managed to coax Virgil into looking up at Patton with just the smallest of movements. When he made eye contact, the emo could see Patton smiling so gently.

“It’s okay, Virgil.” Patton had said.

Virgil had shaken his head violently, throwing tears around, “No. It’s really not, Patton. It’s not okay that I did that, that I allowed myself to think I could do that, that I-”

The emo was cut off when he was wrapped in a hug. His arms hung loose, not moving to wrap around the small body clinging to him tightly. Due to him being so close, Virgil was able to feel that Patton had started to show signs of crying himself, “It really is okay, Virgil. I promise.” Patton’s voice was so small and quiet, “I’m just happy you still want to talk to me.”

Virgil immediately had felt his heart shatter into yet more pieces. He had never even entertained the idea that Patton would even be worried about that, as he was so sure that his crush was going to despise him from that moment on. Hesitantly, the emo returned the hug, squeezing the teen in his arms. “I thought you’d hate me.” He mumbled.

There was a breathy laugh from Patton, who pulled his head back to look at Virgil with a sad smile. “I could never… hate anyone.” He hastily added the last two words with a light blush.

“Of course you couldn’t.” Virgil choked out a laugh, causing more tears. He wanted to continue apologising but didn’t want to annoy or frustrate the teen who’d been so understanding with him so far.

It was Patton who spoke next, this time being the one who was avoiding eye contact, “Actually, I was worried _you_ hated _me_. I mean… can you blame me? You came up and just poured stuff all over me, without a word. It… It kinda scared me. You were like my best friend, and suddenly there was this change… I didn’t know how to feel about it, other than super sad.” Patton visibly swallowed hard, his voice becoming obviously choked as he continued, “I think you mentioned it earlier… but, why did you do it?”

Virgil was still as Patton’s hurt gaze fell upon him once more. It was almost as if Patton had the gaze of a gorgon and had just turned him to stone, he was so still. Immediately, Virgil choked out a soft sob as he attempted to even find the words to explain what he’d done. He told Patton everything that had happened before; the goading about the possible crush, the worry about being beaten, the stress and fear as he’d walked over to him, the impossible sadness and gut-wrenching pain he endured every time he thought about what he’d done. All the while, he peppered in more apologies, never trying to excuse his actions or justify them. By the end, the emo was shaking, and two wet patches were clear on his jeans where the tears had fallen.

Another exceedingly gentle touch came from the one he was talking to, as Patton reached out and wiped away some of the tears. Virgil had instinctively leaned into the touch, finding it wonderfully grounding and calming, so much so that his eyes slid shut for a few seconds. He only opened once he heard Patton speak once more.

“I’m sorry…”

Virgil was immediately back on the attack, “You have nothing to be sorry for!”

“But I do!” Patton protested, pulling his hand back and pushing both of them harshly into the carpet, “Just because we were close, you almost lost all of your friends!”

“That doesn’t matter, though!” Virgil’s voice increased in volume, in order to cut off his friend.

“Yes, it does!”

“No! It really doesn’t!”

“Why not?!”

“BECAUSE I DON’T CARE ABOUT THEM LIKE I CARE ABOUT YOU!”

The room fell silent. Virgil breathed out a heavy sigh, his head hung low after he’d shouted so loud. Patton was now the one sat impossibly still, his eyes wide in surprise.

“They don’t matter, Patton. None of them matter.” Virgil spoke softly, eyes trained on the ground once more. “They really aren’t my friends, Pat. They just aren’t. And I am scared to death to say it, because they could fucking kill me if they wanted. If I even try and say something against them on my own, I’ll be snapped in half like a fucking twig under their fucking boots. But I can’t live like that anymore. I just can’t.”

“So… were they right?”

Virgil looked back at Patton, who seemed to be impatiently shifting around as he waited for the emo’s response, “What?”

“Do you… have a crush on me?”

The emo’s face turned red in a second. He stuttered through his words, “P-Patton! We, we weren’t talking about that, I… I, I can’t even give- What? Um…” Virgil cursed himself in his head harshly as he silenced himself.

His only solace was that Patton looked similarly red and embarrassed, “I know, but you kinda explained the other stuff… I was just curious, y’know?”

Virgil knew there was no getting out of this unscathed, so he may as well just tell the truth, even if it ended horribly. He looked to the side, focusing his sight on the leg of his bed frame, “Well, I mean… kinda, yeah.”

“Kinda?” Patton leaned a little to the side, just about slipping past the emo’s peripheral vision to be more visible. This meant that Virgil was able to see the innocently hopeful look on the other teen’s face. “What do you mean by ‘kinda’?”

The teen made a frustrated whine-like noise in the back of his throat whilst burying his face in his hands, “Kinda, meaning… I don’t wanna say it directly because then I’d have to go into detail or something and I’ve already fucked everything up once and I really don’t wanna do that again. That kind of ‘Kinda’.” Virgil said, sarcastically, his voice somewhat muffled by his hands.

There was a gentle giggle after a moment’s silence and a soft bit of pressure put against the top of his head. From his best guess, Virgil could only conclude that it was a kiss or something. He peeked up from his hands, only to be caught by Patton placing another impossibly soft kiss to his now exposed forehead. He practically burst into flames as heat erupted onto his face, turning it an even brighter shade of red.

Patton just continued to giggle, though his face was also significantly redder than the last time Virgil had noticed it, “I like you too, Virgil.” Virgil pouted and turned away but couldn’t help his mouth twitching into a soft smile when Patton practically threw himself at Virgil again, wrapping his arms tightly around the emo. The shorter teen nuzzled his head into Virgil’s shoulder, “Do you wanna know something?”

Virgil raised an eyebrow as he peered down at Patton, “…Sure?”

“You’re really cute when you blush like that.”

That was all the catalyst for an even longer conversation that had spanned the rest of the weekend. Patton had dropped by for the next two days and the two of them made amends. Virgil still continued to pepper in apologies when he felt it was necessary, even though Patton had said it was all forgiven. He still didn’t deserve to be off the hook just yet, but he was thankful that Patton wasn’t getting frustrated with his constant slew of sorrys. By the end of Sunday, the two had agreed to try dating while also having come up with an idea that would have Virgil in a place where the group wouldn’t dare try and touch him, though what would happen later when he could possibly be alone was not yet planned out.

But Virgil was extremely determined to make this work. During the first break period, he headed to the music rooms to talk with his teacher. He explained the situation and asked for some help, as well as if he could borrow some equipment and – as they were sympathetic and were a fairly relaxed teacher, as well as wanted to put some of those kids in their place – they agreed. They planned to meet Virgil outside at lunch on the side of the courtyard.

He left the classroom with only a few minutes to spare, so Virgil headed off to his next class while taking a bit of a detour to wander past Patton’s locker, in a vague hope that the teenager would be there when he came by. Thankfully, there the boy was, in all his radiant, happy-go-lucky glory. Virgil felt himself relax a significant amount when the two made eye contact and Patton smiled at him.

Patton’s friends were immediately on guard when they saw him approaching, but the pastel-colour teen got them to stand down after a bit of coaxing. When he grabbed a hold of Virgil’s hand, lacing their fingers together and rested against his side, the friends seemed to notice that the two of them had something else going on. The bell rang before they even had a chance to ask, but Patton promised to explain later and all of them headed off to their classes.

Virgil was not able to focus in his classes; his mind was far away thinking about the future plans that were going to be enacted very soon. He was extremely anxious, it almost felt like his stomach was gnawing on itself once the final bell rang for lunch. The emo bolted out of his seat and tore down the hallways, only slowing when in the presence of any teachers who’d scold him for it. He made his way to the music store closet, picking up his precious and heading as fast as he could over to the point he was supposed to meet his teacher.

Already, there was a fair amount of interest from the students milling around the nearby area. A lot of eyes were watching the music teacher as they finished setting up the equipment Virgil had asked for. The interest seemed to grow a little more when the teen himself appeared and began talking with the teacher, his precious slung over his back. Then, when Patton appeared from the other side and joined in, Virgil could feel the eyes of the entire student body upon the odd trio.

They then split off. The music teacher headed back across the courtyard, towards the classrooms inside and Patton jogged over to his friends, leaving Virgil alone with the equipment. A couple of minutes passed while he readied himself and some of the interest had died down, but that came back full force when he spoke into the microphone.

“Uh, Is this… I, guess it is.” Virgil awkwardly checked that the sound was coming through the speakers. It was extremely loud, and the entire courtyard quietened to a hush in the wake of it. They all stared towards him, the strange emo kid with the guitar in front of a microphone. He swallowed hard before continuing, “I mean, you can all probably tell what’s coming, so I should… like, start. This song is dedicated to… well, they know who they are.”

With the help of the equipment, his normally acoustic guitar’s sound was changed to be like that of an electric guitar. Virgil began to play the introduction and, just as he started singing directly into the microphone, he was able to see his ‘friends’ coming around the corner of their usual spot just off of the main courtyard. He made direct eye contact with them as he sang.

_“You think you're so awesome_   
_Nobody's as cool as you_   
_You're gonna impregnate everyone_   
_Men and women too_

_But don't_   
_Call me_   
_When all the child support is due_   
_'Cause I don't wanna be in your stupid band”_

There was a rush of adrenaline that overtook his anxiety as he continued to play. The pure rage that was now being sent his way by the so-called leader of his ex-friend group would have normally sent him into an instant panic attack, but Virgil knew he would do nothing in front of the whole school. He continued the song, a smug smirk on his face as he knew the next verse would really strike a raw nerve.

_“You're so well connected_   
_You wrote the lingo, the vocab_   
_You're the king of the party_   
_You know the dealer and the lab_

_But don't ask me why your band can't play 'cause they're stuck in rehab_   
_'Cause I don't wanna be in your stupid band”_

Virgil played the guitar solo as best he could with his slightly shaking hands. He almost felt like laughing when all the eyes in the courtyard had turned to look at the group of darkly dressed teens at the perceived callout. It was well rumoured that the group partook in drugs recreationally and frequently, though Virgil had never been around to see it for real – though the smell was clear as day sometimes, so he knew it was definitely true. Now, to the rest of the school, it seemed like a confirmation had come from one of their own and so the gossip-hungry teenagers at the school were bound to pass this around to all they knew.

_“But don’t ask me why your band can’t play ‘cause they’re stuck in rehab_   
_‘Cause I don’t wanna be in your stupid band._

_No, I don't want to be in your stupid band”_

Using the equipment, Virgil was able to record his last line and play it back under his voice, which allowed him to repeat words underneath, just like the actual song he was covering. There was now a definite tone of confidence to his voice as he finished the last part of the song. It was almost like he was duetting with himself.

_“No, I don't_  
 _(don't)_  
 _Want_  
 _(want)_  
 _To_  
 _(to)_  
_Be in your stupid band.”_

Virgil finished the song with a flourish. He bowed a little awkwardly to the round of applause that his fellow students gave him, “Uh, thank you. I, um… also have another thing to say.” He slung his guitar towards his back and pulled the mic out of its stand, walking towards the edge of the upper area he was standing on. “I need to say sorry, again, to someone… very important to me. So…” Virgil was able to pick out his target easily in the crowd as the boy in question was standing atop one of the picnic tables that littered the courtyard, “Patton, I’m really sorry for doing that shit to you. I know I’ve said it like a million times, but I just… feel really bad about it, still.”

As he was speaking, Patton jumped off of the table and sprinted up to him. He tackle-hugged him, holding him tightly as he looked up at Virgil with that same bright, sunny smile as the first time they’d spoken, “Virgil, I said I forgive you already, you silly goose.”

Virgil rolled his eyes and sighed. A few of the onlookers from the school were laughing and a couple of them whistled at the pair, which caused Virgil to blush a little, “Whatever. Still sorry.”

“That’s not good. Let me prove that I forgive you!” Patton said with an underlying tone of mischief.

The emo was a little worried. He looked down at his still-new boyfriend with a slight note of concern. Patton continued to grin, even when he popped up onto his toes and pressed a kiss to Virgil’s lips. It was only brief, but it had Virgil’s eyes going wide and his cheeks flushing even darker.

Several other students jeered at them or continued to whistle and laugh. Some – which Virgil would have presumed were Patton’s friends if he were of a less distracted mindset – cheered at the move. Either way, it didn’t matter as Patton had just kissed him. Virgil set the microphone back in its stand, with a clear mention that he was done. After putting his guitar back in its cover, he spent the rest of the lunch period in plain sight with Patton and his friends. Neither of them really knew where this was going to go, or how they were going to deal with the seemingly fuming group of emos that were clearly watching them from the other side of the courtyard, but that wasn’t important at this moment. They were safe and happy and together, that was all that mattered right now.


End file.
